In this episode of The One Freedom Formula, we dive deep into the inspiring journey of Ernest Wood, a former Navy veteran turned life coach. Ernest shares his incredible transformation from a life filled with challenges to one of balance, gratitude, and personal freedom.
In this episode of The One Freedom Formula, we dive deep into the inspiring journey of Ernest Wood, a former Navy veteran turned life coach. Ernest shares his incredible transformation from a life filled with challenges to one of balance, gratitude, and personal freedom.
🌟 What You'll Learn:
The importance of coaching and mentorship in achieving personal success.
How to navigate life's challenges while maintaining balance.
The transformative power of gratitude and self-acceptance.
Why comparing yourself to others can hold you back from true freedom.
Ernest's story is a testament to the power of resilience and the belief that change is possible for everyone. Join us as we explore his insights and practical advice that can help you unlock your own path to happiness and fulfillment.
🕒 Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
1:37 - Ernest's Background and Journey
4:41 - The Role of Coaching in Personal Growth
10:05 - The Importance of Gratitude
15:22 - Overcoming Road Rage and Finding Peace
20:00 - The Eulogy Practice and Self-Reflection
25:10 - Final Thoughts on Personal Freedom
Ernest Wood 00:00
I was raised, I was like super conservative i was all, you know, gung ho United States. So I was in the Navy, worked in the power industry, and when I was in car sales, I ended up being like the number one sales guys. My kids were young, I loved coaching. I was kind of like Bobby Knight on steroids where I just never finished anything hard. Like when I owned a bar for a little while, it got hard so I quit. I did multi level marketing for a while i got up to a certain spot really fast and I finally get next to this guy. I look back and he has a kid in the back of his car.
Vivien Roggero 00:40
Hi, welcome to the episode of the One Freedom Formula. Today I have Ernest Wood with me. This man is amazing he is a coach who helped high achiever to actually succeed in a more balanced life. And he has a story And he, his mother, Adam, when he was 14, he was raised so with a single mother, he became a new US Navy veteran, father, grandfather, husband and coach. That's a life story. He also wrote a book, Asshole to a Son. I love the title Journey to Joy and Happiness. I encourage you to read it personally i'm going to devour it from start to end. Just the title is just already a promise. So, Ernest, thank you for taking the time to be with us today.
Ernest Wood 01:37
Thank you for having me on the show.
Vivien Roggero 01:40
It's a pleasure, it's a pleasure. So tell me a bit about that You got from veteran to coaches like coaching is is something unique. Not a lot of people actually understood what it mean years ago i know it's starting to appear, but it's a worthy profession but what brought you there?
Ernest Wood 02:04
It all started a long time ago, like when I my kids were young i love coaching. It talks about it in the book i was probably not the best coach in the world i was, I was kind of like Bobby Knight on steroids. I was, yeah, I was pretty brutal. And then, you know, I was in the Navy so learn some leadership skills there, worked in the power industry. And then I got into car sales after the power industry. And when I was in car sales, I ended up being like the number one sales guy so they move me up to a team lead position. And in the team lead position I was, I took five guys that were kind of like they gave me the bottom five guys because I was new in the position. And we got all five of those guys to be in the top seven out of the 2020 people that we have four of the six months that I was their team lead. So I was like, man, I really, really enjoyed coaching and, you know, leading people and then, but I was still, I was still not a very good person i still had some like negative, a lot of negative things. And that's what I've been working on so I wrote the book and when I finished the book, I was like, I, I, I started chatting with a bunch of guys and everybody was like, they still fell into that same little thing, bunch of successful dudes, but they all were out of balance in some part of their life. One guy was like working on his third divorce. Another guy was well over 300 pounds. Another guy really just doesn't get along with people really well. So I started thinking, man, this is there's something there like people need that balance in life because we're so busy trying to only get monetary success that's like, that's what our world is telling us right now. It's all about monetary success and forget the rest of your life.
Vivien Roggero 04:09
Yeah, I, I could not agree more like part of my work with people, you know, I created a framework and the first phase of the framework is release. Release what the culture has give you as what you think life should be. And I think that's that's what you're saying is basically the same like freedom, at least for what I understand, is being able to live a true life which is balanced. Is that what is your definition of freedom?
Ernest Wood 04:41
Yeah, freedom, like it's changed so much over the years because I was, I was raised, I was like super conservative i was all, you know, gung ho, United States, US navy i was the, you know, and yeah, United States offers us freedoms, you know, some freedoms above other countries. But like, freedom to me is like just being able to be happy. You know, obviously we, you have to have money in life just, it makes everything a little bit easier. But true freedom is just being OK with yourself. And that's, and I, I finally got to that spot because I didn't like myself for a long time i just did stupid little things. And once I've finally learned to like myself and have gratitude for everything in my life, good or bad, like I don't really, I don't, I try not to even say good or bad anymore because nothing's bad it's just there, right? And if it's if it's bad, I just use it as a learning experience i'm grateful for like everything that comes into my life now, and it's been a huge change to me that's what freedom is, is just being able to be grateful for what you have and not being locked up to what somebody's other ideal is for you, right?
Vivien Roggero 06:05
Yeah, I, I like that. I really like that i'm, I'm really a big fan of two things about freedom. The 1st is freedom is not static. You know what's your freedom one day is not the same as the other day. Let's say if for example to give you an example of what I mean is you.
Ernest Wood 06:27
Are a.
Vivien Roggero 06:27
Father and a grandfather. Freedom with kid and freedom without kid is not the same.
Ernest Wood 06:36
I got a great story that goes a lot just with that go ahead.
Vivien Roggero 06:40
Please go for it.
Ernest Wood 06:42
So my wife and I, I have two sons of my own and my wife has three, three children and then her three children have it we have 8 grandkids from them and just recently the middle child had to move back into our house a little while with her three children. So exactly what you just said man, that is so static we were free to do whatever we want whenever we wanted. Now we have 3 grandkids living near this so yes, I agree.
Vivien Roggero 07:16
But at the same time, I'm sure you're enjoying every minute of them.
Ernest Wood 07:20
Most minutes.
Vivien Roggero 07:22
Not every. Ok, fair enough. Fair enough i'm a father i know what you're.
Ernest Wood 07:27
Speaking about Fair enough.
Vivien Roggero 07:29
I agree with that statement, but I have to say, you know, it's, it's a different freedom, but it's still, if you're grateful for it, as you said, you're always grateful, then you have a freedom there.
Ernest Wood 07:44
True.
Vivien Roggero 07:47
And and so tell me, you started coaching, you started writing that book, the story of that book, because you said you decided to write that book. What made you decide to write that book why did you tell for whom is that book is it for you or is it for others?
Ernest Wood 08:05
So first I started writing it just for me it was just because I had a hard time finishing stuff that was hard, like, and coming from my childhood, any time that like, things got hard, I figured out a way to skate it, get out of it, cheat, lie, blame somebody else. I did everything so I didn't have to do the hard stuff right and then when I got in the Navy, I finally did some of the hard stuff. But I was still like a complainer. I, I did my job, but I complained about it the entire time. There was a couple things that I did. I, I had bad road rage, like just super bad road rage. And one time I was driving down the road, I'm listening to Brian Tracy and he's talking about don't give away your feelings to somebody else, right? And I see this guy coming on the freeway and I just know he's going to like he's, he's moving fast so I know he's going to try to get in front of me. So of course, I squeeze forward a little bit and he squeezed in front of me. So I did all the appropriate, appropriate actions i get up as tight as I could i, I honk my horn, I throw him up the finger, you know, all the good stuff. So he throws me the finger back up, break checks me we go crazy, man we're cruising down the road i mean, probably 90 miles an hour, cutting off everybody in the world. You know, I'm cutting off people to prove the point that he shouldn't cut off people. And I finally get next to this guy. I look back and he has a kid in the back of his car and I was just like, what the hell am I doing like, and I've been there and I've done that kind of stupid thing but that was the first time it actually was like, come on, man like you got to be better than that you can't be that weak of a person. And from then on I do, I went on a true like just self help journey. I think I've read over 500 books. I bought, you know, coaching, I did all kinds of stuff. But it still didn't click until one time when I was at work this guy goes, you are just like boom. And when he told me that I was like that guy because nobody wanted to be like that guy that guy all he did was say the F word and complain. And he said I'm just like him i was like, dude, I am changing. That is all I'm going to do. And that's when I started writing the book and it took me 4 and a half years to write the book. But by the end of it, I'm a whole lot less of an asshole. And I use, I use awesome as like a kind of like the journey, right? I don't, I don't ever expect to be totally awesome just like perfection there's no such thing as perfection. I just use it as a journey, like a guiding light, and I just enjoy the process now of, of being grateful, being able to forgive people, having empathy. Like what I learned was my triggers and patterns and so, yeah, there's a lot of little, little key things in there if you actually go through it and I always talk about journaling. Journaling is super important. Pretty much most of the most successful people in the world journal. I start every day off by writing three things that I'm grateful for. One about myself, one about my spouse or my kids, and then one about the world. And yeah, by doing that, that that's just totally changed my mindset. And that's why I wrote the book, man it says hopefully a couple. If anybody gets anything out of it, I'm I've done my job right.
Vivien Roggero 12:07
Love it man, Love it. Now the thing that I agree so much on is journaling and gratitude. Those things are so underrated, but they are so critical. Like I don't really journal everyday i journal generally once a week, but gratitude, I do that three to four times a day. Like literally three to four times a day i would do gratitude and I used to do that i, I stopped this year because I didn't add the mindset to do it this year there was so much things on the plate and I travelled a lot and a lot of that but I used to do every weekend at the end of the weekend, I would write a card with what one amazing thing that happened every week during that week. And I put that into the jar for the end of the year. And at the end of the year you can see all the magnificent, like all the beautiful thing that happened they're there and you read the card and you go through them and then what we still.
Ernest Wood 13:13
Yeah, sorry. I really like that.
Vivien Roggero 13:16
Yeah, yeah and, and I will give you one other one, which is something that I've learned so I'm, I'm married, I'm divorced and remarried, you know, with a kid from my previous marriage and, and, and we with my current wife have a group of people, other couples that we speak on a weekly basis to. So we have this kind of meeting one hour with those people. And one of the thing that we do that I encourage any couple to do is during that time, we tell to a partner one thing that we're grateful of that they have done the week before. Just doing that, you have no idea how much it improve your relationship with your spouse, how more valued they feel. Just this simple act. You know it's all about gratitude at the end.
Ernest Wood 14:14
You know what, if Judy is sorry about that, I had to with my little gratitude journal one time me and the wife got into it we're just butting heads about everything. But I showed her, I said, you know what? I said, you know what I do every single day is I write one thing I'm grateful for you about, I think no matter what, no matter how bad it is. And I showed her the little list, Dude, we didn't fight for like a month in a row it was so every time it came up, she was like, I know. So it it does man it, it helps the relationship so much.
Vivien Roggero 14:50
So much so much and and I was going to say if you ever want to taste your known road rage skill set, come drive in Taiwan i can like US is bad no, no, no US is good here. They they they can pass you from the left to right. They speed they like it it is crazy here is like I have. I'm not a road rage person, but I have to admit sometimes here, sometimes I'm raging. I am raging hard and I've driven in Paris and Paris is bad, but not that I've.
Ernest Wood 15:31
Heard that place is pretty bad.
Vivien Roggero 15:33
Yeah, yeah, yeah paris people road rage a lot. Like, I have a friend. It's a little woman, like, skinny, look nice. She works with kids. Oh my God, she swear like a trucker like Rodridge kills 10.000 thousand i'm like every time I'm in a car with her that is. Are you another person? Are you the same woman? What is happening there?
Ernest Wood 16:03
It's so crazy how like that that switch. I have a buddy, he's like the most calm dude in the world like he's my guy like we go to and we bounce things off of and he's like so mellow and calm, but you get him in the car, dude. Like we've been chased down the freeway. We he's chased somebody else. We had a gun pulled on US one time and I'm just like, dude, yeah i'm like, let's like just stop, man. But yeah, he's, I, I get it it's crazy.
Vivien Roggero 16:38
Yeah i mean, I don't know anything else that has the effect of driving onto people. Like this change of personality is so drastic the moment they close the door of the car. But you, you, you see, like you see people by, for example, being different at home and at work, but generally they're still approximately the same like there is some difference, yes, but not that much but there is like, like it's Hulk, you know, it's Hulk Principle, Barry Hulk. Which one you have?
Ernest Wood 17:25
That is true, man i'm not it. It's one of those weird things i I I sometimes wonder like why people? But in some ways I think it's almost like the Internet, right, where you get a lot of people thinking they're quote unquote Johnny badass, because nobody can really do anything to him. And when you're in the car, you know who most people weren't going to chase you down, right, And there's not a whole lot of repercussion so you you act like you're the crazy, you know, and I think it's the little bit of that baby. I don't know. It's just that is a very that's a very interesting that needs to be a study.
Vivien Roggero 18:06
Yeah, yeah. I've think I've seen some studies on the impact of, you know, driving and how people behave, but I don't know if there is a deeper study on the psychological component component of it because The thing is, if you're in a car, you feel protected by the car. And I would say, OK, if the protection is what's important, then the car is the only place where you would have that. But I've seen people on motorcycle do even worse.
Ernest Wood 18:37
Oh yeah.
Vivien Roggero 18:38
And they're like protected. Like if you ever come to Taiwan, you can watch the people on scooters so there is a traffic light, for example, in Taipei where there is three hundred scooters waiting nearly every time there is a traffic light during certain time of the day. So it's crazy it's like a wave of scooters and there is several type of drivers that you can imagine. You know, you have the calm 1. You have the I would say I don't care who you are, what you are, I'm just driving and I do what I want and whatever you do is doesn't matter to me. And then you have the road rage one like I want to go fast and it's not a car it's super dangerous there is accident, a lot of scooter accident in Taiwan regularly i've seen so many of them since I'm here. But The thing is the one that has the most accident is generally the one that is in the middle, the one that I like. I don't care what you're doing i do whatever I want. Not the one that don't speed because those one generally is, are like, you know, they still try to avoid those people. The other one is like, and boom, happen all the time. So that, yeah.
Ernest Wood 20:00
That's a, That's a pretty, that's kind of when you think about it, that's how life is sometimes, right? When you're when you're just a daredevil or you're willing just to go out and get it. Sometimes you can you miss, you know, you don't get in those accidents but when you're and then if you're not doing anything, then of course you're not going to get hurt but that guy that's kind of out there super slow he's getting, he's getting exposed and getting hit by everything, right. So yeah, that's kind of a that's, that's a strange that's, I've never even heard that, but that's very interesting.
Vivien Roggero 20:39
Yeah. You know the the thing that I've learned and and you were speaking about it and I think you would you can expand on that on your personal stories. There is patterns to life and whatever it is being driving, being business, being life in general, There is patterns and and what I've extracted is if you don't do anything or anyway, nothing will happen to you being good or bad. It will just stay where you are. If you do things half, half measured, like really not really investing in it well, you're going to eat be hit right and left because you know you're just in the middle of everything. But when you start really investing in what you're doing and, and really looking too deep into and, and you can look at eye achiever, for example, if they really want to achieve something and invest energy in it, then that's where you get some success. That's where you also avoid some of the pitfall and you actually progress because even if there is one, well, you go around and you continue, you don't stop. I mean, I don't know. How do you feel looking at your own life and your experience?
Ernest Wood 21:55
Yeah, that's I was always that guy who was like, I tried it i would try to go, you know, it's fast. But I like again, I had that hard spot where I just never finished anything hard like I, I owned a bunch of different, I owned a bar for a little while and we had it going very good and then there was a, you know, like some little weird things happen so it got hard so I quit. I did multi level marketing for a while i got up to a certain spot really fast. It got a little difficult, so I quit and it was just a pattern that I had in life it was just any time that something got a little more difficult than what my imagination had, you know that at the beginning, then I quit. So when I started doing like the self improvement, writing the book and then I started coaching others, I finally got to a spot where I had I had to hire some other coaches, I had to have somebody help me get beyond that spot. And I think that's what is actually a huge key for people to be really successful, right? A lot of us, we can be successful in business and because maybe we had that great business mind, but we forget about everything else and now all of a sudden, you know, our physical health is jacked up, our mental health, our relationships, or you might be super good with the physical side and then your business side isn't very good that's kind of where I'm at like I'm not the best business person i've never, I've never been exposed to that, you know, beyond a certain point. So I've had to hire some coaches, and those coaches have helped me find those spots that I'm missing and, you know, move past them.
Vivien Roggero 23:49
That's, that's, that's really interesting. You know, one of the lesson that I take from a lot of people that I've worked with speak with add on the podcast. Even coaches have coaches, let's be honest, even coaches as coaches, because there is always more to learn and there is always different experiences that you don't have because you are in certain, you know, in a certain mindset, in a certain strike. And and then a lot of people, they don't really understand the value of coaching yet They're more like you. You're not giving me advice. You're not doing things for me what are you clearly doing? Sorry, but the truth is I think coaching is in a certain way one of the best help you can have at any point in time because it's someone else that is not you that look at your situation and help you to expand your vision of it. So yeah, coaching is like expanding your vision, expanding because someone is bringing another side of of it. What do you think about that photo? Because, you know, coaching is what we do. But as I said, not a lot of people really understand it.
Ernest Wood 25:15
Yeah, I, like I said, I had the hardest time. I loved being a coach, but I had the hardest time being coached. Even as a kid, I was the worst person to coach i, I, even when I was writing my book, I wrote, I called a couple of the guys and I told him, Hey, man, I apologize. I was a jerk most of them don't ever even think about it, right? But even I think a lot of us as adults, we just don't find the necessity in it or, or see the value in it because we get so caught up in doing our own daily crap and like, and that's, that's what I did, man i, that's why where I became that person to write that book it was just because everything that I was doing was, ah, it got me to where I'm at i'm not, you know, I'm not dead. And that was kind of the thought and then when I started down that journey of being a better person, I use books and like different coaching, like classes and seminars and stuff. I never really hired a coach just to do one-on-one until I got back, you know, doing the business. But yeah, man, having a coach, it's just one of those things like you said, Michael Jordan had coaches tiger Wood has coaches. Every actor pretty much in the world has coaches. Every one of the billionaires has coaches.
Vivien Roggero 26:54
Every president has a coach.
Ernest Wood 26:56
Yeah, I was just going to say the one president that I know, you know, he has, he has a coach, but I didn't know how good we should mention his name or not, but.
Vivien Roggero 27:08
I don't think it's a problem to to mention name on this.
Ernest Wood 27:11
No, I'm just kidding.
Vivien Roggero 27:13
Yeah, no, but if you, if you look at it, I did a video some time ago about that but Selena Williams, she said the factor of success for was self-awareness and mindfulness. And she, she has like she has a different type of coaches because she has the tennis coach, but she has also mental coach because she said, like when you're in the court and you're in a game where the stakes are really, really high, the tension, the stress, the expectation, all of that could actually ruin you. And to being coached to be able to actually release all of that and focus on, you know, the game in front and not and being mindful of the time where she is and not expecting going forward or backward. That's what helped her be at the level that she is. So, you know, all those people, they're successful through that. And and I think what you said is it's true, a lot of people, especially when you're struggling don't see the value of a coach. When you're successful, you already have seen the value of it so you're already there and you want to continue doing it but when you're struggling a lot of people and you look at your road. When you when you were writing the book and everything, you take the classes of courses, you take everything, but you didn't do one-on-one until you get into the business. What do you think would have happened if you had coached before?
Ernest Wood 29:02
It probably wouldn't have took me 4 and a half years to write the book, right? Yeah, I, I really do wish I would have grabbed on as somebody, as a coach, you know, a lot of people. My father wasn't around being a kid so a lot of people have like that father figure or mentor growing up and they kind of used that person as a coach. But when I grew up, like with my mom only being 14, we basically grew up together, right i mean, they're siblings that are closer, further apart in AIDS than my mother and I. So I never, I never learned to accept a mentor or a coach i always, it was always just a figure it out yourself because that's the way you always did it, right? And it's not, it's not the right way to do it it's not the easy way to do it. It takes way a lot longer. I mean, I was 45 before I, you know, decided just to change. I knew I wanted to change, but I didn't know how to change where if maybe earlier in life I would have went, you know what? I'm, I think there's somebody out there that can help me out and not just because now I'm a coach, you know, you're a coach and there's it is, it has become a bigger field, but it's, it's still something that's needs to be dialed in because not, not every 18 year old, 21 year old, 22 year old person can come out of college or come out of high school and think that they can tell, you know what a 50 year old guy how to live his life like it it's so there, there's there's give and take, right you're going to have to do, have some life experience and sometimes you do need to get kicked in the nuts sorry, you know, but you, you do have to, you have to take those losses and, and then figure out, man, you know, find a good, find a good mentor, find a good coach day. If you're striving to do something, it's, it's going to help you get along so much better and like what you said earlier, when you get in that really, really bad spot in life where you just think that there's nothing that you can do, find that, find that person that's going to hold you accountable. You know, there was one, one of the practices that I learned, it's called a eulogy practice. And it's, it's if you were, if you died and you were able to see your funeral from the outside, how many people would be there? What would they say about you right. And when I was like kind of in my bad spot, I heard about this. And at first when I did it, I was like, Nah, who gives a crap? But then when I the more I more I grew, the more I kind of saw what that would help with my mindset, right because I didn't want, I didn't want to go leave this world with people going, man, he was a horrible guy. You know you don't want to be that you know, you don't want your dash to be that guy was a turd. That was his dash, right? You just don't want to be that guy yeah.
Vivien Roggero 32:35
Yeah, I'm, I think it's one of the those exercises i'm there is several of them that are learning the same style, but the idea is always the same. It's always about who are you right now? Is that what you want to be? And if not, what do you want to be? That's basically the the three premises of all of those is the size, whatever the type is, is urology is one of the one but it's like, are you that person that you're looking at right now is that someone you want to be or is it something else? And then for you, how was that urology at that time compared to how is it now?
Ernest Wood 33:30
It was not good, man i, I struggled with like being, I had like a false bravado or a false confidence. Like I said, I just didn't really like who I was internally like inside. So I was always like looking for recognition i would do stupid crap just just to make people laugh or, you know, I would flirt with somebody like a like one of my friend's wife's or whatever it was just stupid, like unnecessary things, just looking for validation because, you know, I was growing up as a kid. When you're either your dad's not there or your mom, you know, those situations, you kind of lose that and that's, I lost it. I just, I didn't have anybody that ever validated me i guess that was the right word until I learned that I don't need anybody else about it i just need to be OK with myself. And so, yeah, once I got OK with myself, then now my eulogy, I, I think people will say he's a pretty good dude he's a kind guy and he's, you know, he's usually trying to do what's right no matter what.
Vivien Roggero 34:51
That's a good eulogy. I mean husband, father, grandfather, kind guy trying to do the right thing. This is I think 5 nice keywords.
Ernest Wood 35:06
Thank you.
Vivien Roggero 35:08
So no, I want to ask you three questions. The first one is what's one thing you wish more people knew about achieving personal freedom?
Ernest Wood 35:27
I wish people, I wish people would actually like believe in their self and stop chasing what other people like the what other people think, right. And, and it's, I think it's a big problem in our world, man we, most of us, and I've done it is we work, we work a job so we can buy a expensive car or expensive house just to show it off to our freaking neighbor and half the time we don't even like our damn neighbor anyway. So it's you know, it's true and and being OK with yourself is is like that's where that freedom comes in man I wish more people were just OK with their self.
Vivien Roggero 36:16
Yeah, but I think it's one of the other things to do is actually to be OK with yourself, you know, especially especially with the fear of missing out that is published through social medias, through movies on like, you know, Oh, and and I always cite this example, but when you see people on the beach with a laptop saying I work from the beach, a lot of people are the fear of missing out on that. Let me debunk that today. If you ever on the beach with a laptop, you will not be happy about it. First, there is sand everywhere. Your laptop not going to like it. Second, what the hell are you doing on your laptop you're on the beach you want to go swim, read a book, enjoy your time not.
Ernest Wood 37:01
Work. That is funny, man that's a great point. That is a such a good point.
Vivien Roggero 37:10
Come on, that's not.
Ernest Wood 37:11
Sexy think about it. No, not at all man, that's awesome i'm glad you said that dude that is Bonnie.
Vivien Roggero 37:19
Yeah, I I love to make this analogy in this point and I think I made it so many times already in the podcast, but you know, it's like it's just eek me every time I see on social media that like they're like, Oh yeah, I'm so successful. I'm in Bali on the beach and I'm, I'm telling you, my wife, being Indonesian, we generally go to Bali, which is close to Taiwan, once a year for some time. If I'm on the beach, I don't want my laptop. I do not want my laptop. I just want to enjoy the beach. It's like you're there, you're in front of the wave. It's nice, it's relaxing.
Ernest Wood 38:00
Why?
Vivien Roggero 38:01
Why spoil it?
Ernest Wood 38:05
Too true, man we go to, we, we're San Diego area, so like Hawaii is pretty close for us so we go over there a lot and yeah, I, I couldn't even, I don't even know why anybody would take a lie. I love that you had, you said that it is one of those ones that's always boggled my mind too man.
Vivien Roggero 38:27
Yeah, but you know, that's a part of our cultural issues nowadays. So my next question on that is, what's one thing you wish more people forget about? Personal freedom.
Ernest Wood 38:42
Say that again, one thing that.
Vivien Roggero 38:45
You wish more people forget about personal freedom?
Ernest Wood 38:50
I wish one more people would forget about personal freedom huh. Man, that's a that's a tough one. I think people I think people like, if I'm answering this correctly, I think people forget to have gratitude like and like not having gratitude doesn't allow that freedom like when I learn to have gratitude, it gave it just, it freed up everything else. It, it even frees up your mind. Like it freed up being able to forgive somebody and be, have empathy. And honestly, I think like at a time I, I forgot or had no clue what gratitude was. So I think if I wish people would not forget to have gratitude, you know, and it it actually is a freedom to be grateful for stuff. I'm hoping I answered that question correct or, you know, it was the way you were there.
Vivien Roggero 39:59
Is no right or there is no right or wrong but the question was what do say what they should forget, and you say what they should not forget, which is fine by me i.
Ernest Wood 40:09
Like it too, no what they should forget?
Vivien Roggero 40:14
Yeah, what they should forget that's a question.
Ernest Wood 40:20
Well, they should forget caring what other people freaking feel about them or care about them or say about them i mean, in a way, right? Like you got to care what people like that eulogy thing you want to, you want to be known as being a good person, but you don't want it you, you got to forget about the negative stuff, man. You got to forget about somebody comparing you or and forget about comparing yourself to others because you're the only one living your life. So, yeah, if that's one thing to forget about is forget about comparing yourself to others forget about that man. Yeah, that's.
Vivien Roggero 41:02
I think it's a big problem. That's a big problem, no days. And it's a difficult problem because for what I've seen as a parent, parents love to compare their child to others. Like my child is like this how is your child? Oh, my child is that great. And so we imbued that into our children's I think.
Ernest Wood 41:28
Yeah, you're hundred percent % is one of those. Yeah, that is a tough one as being a grandparent and a parent.
Vivien Roggero 41:38
Yeah, yeah, You know, here, here we have a kind of an arcade game, Pokémon arcade game called Galilee. And my son is a fan of that he's like addicted to it when every time he's with me, he wants to play. But if you, if I leave him play with all the kids, they encourage each other's to win the good cards because you are, you're basically winning cards. And if you win the good card, well then the next person can't have it and he will have to wait a cycle or two so it's a long time, but they encourage always each other to win and they compare their color like, Oh, I have that what do you have? But there is not like, I have that what do you have all you have better than me it's like, oh, I don't have this one i would like to have this one and but if like when I see the parents interacting, they're like, Oh yeah, we need absolutely to to win this one oh, my kid need to win this one so blah, blah, blah. And then there is like comparison and competition and saying when you let the children alone, it's like.
Ernest Wood 42:32
It's just.
Vivien Roggero 42:33
Beautiful to see them interact and collaborate and land another car that he has because the other one doesn't have or land. Naturally children collaborate. They don't they don't really they have competition, but in the different ways but when the parents get into it, it's like not the same. Like to the point that last weekend when I had my son, we got to play there and one of the kid we was there won the big card and there was a family with a daughter and two parents. As soon as you win the the big card, they left because all they wanted was winning the big card. My son didn't care. He continued to play it. He played four more rounds and then he won a great a nice big card it was a super happy and the other kid was like, yeah, you did it too you did it too that's so nice and I wish we forget in parenting to put that comparison to people. If we could do that, we would make better humans.
Ernest Wood 43:44
You know, and it's funny because like, competition is a good thing. Like competition, right? There's a fine line like because we all want our kids to be, you know, successful and everything and competition. I I like, I'm not a big fan of this give everybody a freaking trophy thing that just doesn't do anything for anybody you have to learn how to lose in life you have to learn how to win. And and yeah, like I agree with you though, because like a lot of people turn competition into a comparing a competition, right, instead of just competing now it's well, my kids smarter than yours well, yeah, how about we just compete in this, you know, this avenue and it and that is a very, that's a very good point that if if, if we just stop having everybody have to be compared to everything else, probably people would be a lot happier and a little more satisfied.
Vivien Roggero 44:52
I mean, competition is a good thing like if you look at it, they're competing for the cards, but if they don't win the card that time, that's OK they will try more, They will try better i mean, they continue to encourage each other to win, which is a great way to compete. Like if you look at certain type of sports, they will encourage everyone to win, but only one person will win. Sure, but they will all be motivated to be that person next time. They will not be like, oh, he's bad because he went no, no, no, it's like go everyone and in martial arts, for example, a lot of martial arts have done. There is two types of teacher. The one that you have to be the first. This is you're learning and be tough and being hard and, and there's other ones like everyone try their best. Let's see, we're going to give you 1 and if you're not the first one, then you need to try out the next time. And it's OK. Just we have lost this time. Do do your best next time. And then everyone is encouraging everyone to win because they want to win, yes, but they they don't want to diminish the effort of others.
Ernest Wood 46:14
No, I yeah. And I agree. And you it it, there is two different lanes of thought on that because I was that coach that was just now we're winning and it does not matter. And if we're no win, we're going to pay the price for not winning because obviously we did something wrong. And and that is that was something that was bad that, you know, like I taught my kids and sometimes they, you know, they'll come back to me now and they're like, yeah, Dad, you're a little bit crazy on that thing. And I wish I was a little better about being just, you know, trying your hardest and, and trying to win, but allowing, allowing a loss to be a learning experience, right. That's one of the sayings that I got from Brian Johnson it's you know how the it's usually win or lose, but when this one you either win or you learn and learning is winning. So you either win or win. I wish I would have learned that a long time ago.
Vivien Roggero 47:23
Yeah, I, I think, you know, in sport and parenting and education, add something that I wish I saw more. Like you win or you learn. And there there is this entrepreneur woman, forgot her name, the one that created Spanx. She always said what her father did amazing was like, what did you fail this week? Because he wanted them to fail at something because that mean they were tried something new or try something harder. And they tried and they tried and they learned through the failure they learned. And she said that our entrepreneurship mindset and and all our success is due to that simple thing.
Ernest Wood 48:08
That, that's awesome man that that is a really good one i, I think I've heard that one before i'm trying to think of the lady's name also but yeah, that is a fantastic one. Because if you're not, if you don't try anything new, you're, you're not going to fill right if you just keep doing the same old crap but, and the only way you know, the only way to get better is sometimes falling down on your face, figuring it out and getting back up.
Vivien Roggero 48:37
That's generally how we learn the hard way. And this is Sarah Blakely. Sarah Blakely, That's the name of the the woman.
Ernest Wood 48:46
Oh, OK. All right.
Vivien Roggero 48:48
Yeah, we'll create it Spanx. But yeah, I mean in, in all of that if if we summarize all podcasts today, what would be your freedom advice that someone can take today and start applying today that they can grow their freedom?
Ernest Wood 49:08
I guess I already kind of hit on that it was be the gratitude thing because learn to be grateful. Like I said, writing those three things every day, it's proven it it makes you 25 % more happy and like a 10 week span i think it is. And when you're grateful for stuff, you have a freedom because you're not like, like you always have to be growing. And you, you don't have to be like satisfied where you're at, but you got to be grateful, right you, you just got to be growing be grateful for what you have, for where you're going and enjoy the process and being grateful for that process of getting better every day. And yeah, man, if if that's the one thing that I wish more people could actually have, is just gratitude for what they currently have and being grateful sometimes for freaking hard times because that's you're going to be better at the end of it.
Vivien Roggero 50:12
Yeah, I think that's a beautiful ways to say it like grateful for the hard time because at the end, you're going to be better because of it. People generally see hard time as hard time, nothing more. It's difficult, it's painful it's all of that. But yeah, love what you're saying, Ernest, really thank you for the podcast today it was a beautiful conversation i loved it. I wish we had more time, maybe another episode one day we can continue on that, explore a bit more about your your journey hassle to us and because I want to see what happened in the next six months year and see where you're going. Love that. I will put in the podcast description for those who want to follow you, your social media contacts so thank you, Ernest, for today.
Ernest Wood 51:05
Hey, I appreciate it it was an absolute pleasure chatting with you.
Vivien Roggero 51:10
It was a pleasure.